What to do when visting a grave ?

Having had my father p way three years ago I feel the loss. I think your reaction is normal and health. When someone is alive we see them at a place, a time, etc. There is a physical presence to them, a binding to the here and now that we don't fully realize. Once they are gone we long for that presence again, to touch, to hear them, to see them. We create a need to place them again, which is why we feel a need to visit their resting place. It is a heart felt need this longing to place the metaphysical in the physical. But in the end they have gone to remain only in our memories, were their spirit lives as part of us; the physical remains are in the end not that meaningful. To help with sorrow go the final resting place but find meaning in his life by living yours. Look by memory to find the smile of a forgotten yesterday.